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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22601674">The Light At The Tunnel’s End</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanatbutterjelly/pseuds/peanatbutterjelly'>peanatbutterjelly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Child Jaemin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Established Relationship, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Implied Relationships, JaeDo, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Nomin are Jaedo’s sons, References to Depression, Romance, Slice of Life, Weddings, blink and you might miss it, child jeno, dojae, implied johnyong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:15:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22601674</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanatbutterjelly/pseuds/peanatbutterjelly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” — Desmond Tutu</p>
<p>In Doyoung’s eyes, Jaehyun was the angel by his side who always stood by him through thick and thin. In fact, he had made Doyoung the happiest man in the world. They met each other in unexpected circumstances and soon enough, despite many telling them it was too fast, they got married and ended up with two sons. However, what Doyoung might have forgotten was the fact that all angels have wings — they need to take flight eventually.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Light At The Tunnel’s End</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>And I am back with a new story! ^^ In fact, I was supposed to post this last week during Doyoung’s birthday but if it was not too obvious from the summary, I figured that it might be a little too cruel to post this on that special day and so I waited till today to post it.</p>
<p>Firstly, apologies for writing such an emotional piece piece but just for one’s information, I write so that I am able to articulate my thoughts and emotions and somehow, it has actually become my coping mechanism. When I wrote this, I have to admit that my mind was in a little of a dark place and it had actually gone through several drafts to reach this point and even when I did not touch it for quite a while, I simply felt like I wanted to revive this storyline and so this was what I had managed to come up with. I’m not sure whether to say to enjoy it, but I hope you guys would like this new work as much as my previous ones.</p>
<p>Feel free to scream at me on <a href="https://twitter.com/bunbun_doyoung">Twitter</a> or perhaps my <a href="https://curiouscat.me/peanat_crumbles">CCs</a> too! I love talking to new people so see you guys there! ^^</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Darkness. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That was all that surrounded Doyoung and one can bet that he hated every single bit of it. Ever since he was young, he was always afraid of the dark, simply because it was when he felt the most vulnerable and worse, helpless. If something were to attack him right there and then, especially if it were all the monsters that resided in his head, all he could do was to accept his fate. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide… Just cold and pitch black emptiness. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And then he saw him. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Doyoung could recognise that build from a mile away, even when he was not facing the former, but the moment the man turned around, Doyoung’s heart calmed tremendously as he looked upon the face of the one he loved — Jung Jaehyun. The latter had alabaster white skin, high cheekbones and could pretty much be labelled as the son of Adonis everywhere he went. He did not have to do much to catch people’s attention really, just breathe, and as much as he was known for his serious and cold expressions, Doyoung’s most favourite look on him consists of his eyes that resembled crescent moons when he smiled, or when his dimples were accentuated. The public loved the sultry Jaehyun, he loved the cute Jaehyun. Simple as that. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>As he looked on, Jaehyun flashed a small smile and called his name with that beautiful baritone voice of his, as if beckoning him to come forward as the former stood underneath what looked like a warm yellow spotlight. And so Doyoung did, walking ever so slowly, occasionally stumbling as he did so, simply because he could not believe that the love of his life had returned to him after all this while. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Doyoung could not be happier as he felt his chest swell with relief, and joyful tears were threatening to spill at any moment. He walked faster as soon as he could get his legs to cooperate with him, eager to give his loved one the tightest embrace he could ever muster. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And that was when it happened. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Red and angry flames started to engulf Jaehyun right before his eyes and Doyoung froze in place, mortified by what he was witnessing. The flames let out crisp cackles as they burnt, piercing the pin drop silence, as if taunting Doyoung that his love was now out of reach. However, Jaehyun remained calm and he just kept smiling, a sign that he was at peace, and held a hand out for Doyoung to touch. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Doyoung ran as fast as his legs could carry him, but Jaehyun’s body began to fade, and all that was left was a pile of ashes and worse, a white skull, right at his feet. Panic took over and Doyoung’s knees buckled as he struggled to breathe at the sight of what used to be his boyfriend. He screamed in anguish as angry tears cascaded from his cheeks, but there was no sound that could be heard. He was so caught up with his devastation that he did not notice the fact that he too was surrounded by flames. They were closing in fast and he was sure he too would suffer the same fate as Jaehyun — </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“JAEHYUN!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Doyoung’s eyes flew open at the shout of Jaehyun’s name leaving his lips. He sat up immediately, regretting the move soon after as he felt himself getting lightheaded for a moment or two after that. It soon occurred to him that he was breaking out in cold sweat as his jet black hair stuck to his forehead, and his palms were cold and clammy — the effects of going through such a vivid nightmare, which felt so real that it sent shivers down Doyoung’s spine. Not only that, his heart was palpitating against his ribcage, he could hear it in his ears, and his immediate reaction was to look to the other side of the king-sized bed, hoping that he would find comfort and solace in the one he loved the most. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, he was only greeted with emptiness as his hands grabbed at nothing. There was nobody there, and Doyoung’s hands only grabbed onto the cold and neatly pressed bedsheets, squeezing it with as much force as he can to keep himself together. A wave of emotions hit him all at once — sadness, anger and regret, and he began to take in deep breaths as he shut his eyes tightly, hoping to calm himself down instead of going through a typical emotional breakdown. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not here anymore Doyoung. Accept it. Move on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Indeed, it was easier said than done. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>****</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung met Jaehyun in their early years of university, with the former being a sophomore taking up a double major in Literature and Public Policy and the latter being a freshman taking a double degree in Applied Chemistry and Business. As for the location in which they met, it was a place where love stories could go either way — a college party. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung was not a party person. In fact, he was far from it and if anything, that would be the last place you would ever find him. Many called him a prude for that, but the remarks never bothered him, simply because he very much preferred the company of Shakespeare and Jane Austen rather than Johnnie Walker and Jack Daniels. And besides, he was proud of his top tier grades that came with his hardwork and sacrifice. Yet, for some strange reason, Taeyong had somehow managed to convince him to go to a party for once in his life. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on Doyoung, this is college. It’s not a place for you to simply excel, you need to experience things too, and besides, finals are over so why the hell not?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How could he have been convinced so easily? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Doyoung were to be completely honest, he was truly there as a friend looking out for the other, making sure that he was acting responsibly and was not simply going home with any random stranger he laid his hands on. Deep down, Doyoung was indeed worried for Taeyong, knowing how gullible the poor boy could be sometimes, but his efforts were soon rendered in vain as Taeyong disappeared to the dance floor amongst the sea of people. And all Doyoung could do was to pray to the Almighty that He would watch over Taeyong while the former made his way out to get some fresh air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are parties not your cup of tea too?” A low voice spoke the moment Doyoung leaned on the walls of the porch, and Doyoung jumped out of his skin, before collecting himself, not wanting to appear like a scaredy cat in such an environment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not one bit. A friend of mine somehow managed to drag me here and he’s left to go to the dance floor. I was supposed to watch out for him, but I guess that’s useless now. There’s just way too many people and frankly, I hope and pray that he’ll keep a good head on his shoulders.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The stranger chuckled, and replied, “Oh? That’s funny, because I’m here for the same thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And that was how they started talking. In fact, they had even left the house party and drove to a nearby cafe that was still open. There were so many alarm bells going off in Doyoung’s head about how he was simply getting into a stranger’s car just 10 minutes after knowing him, but his heart somehow told him that this particular stranger could be trusted. His parents had always told him to follow what his heart told him, so he did. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they reached the cafe, the stranger was clearly a gentleman, opening the door for Doyoung to get out of and led him to an empty booth seat before he went off to buy drinks, coming back with two cups of matcha latte and a slice of blueberry cheesecake. He simply smiled at Doyoung as he handed him a fork, and Doyoung could feel the heat rise to his cheeks. He did not get to see the stranger properly initially, and you could not blame him either, given how the porch where they met and the car they sat in made it impossible for him to have a good look at the stranger, but Doyoung soon felt himself falling in love at first sight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had so many things in common, more than they ever expected — they liked the same music artistes and exchanged Spotify playlists; they loved reading books and had passionate conversations about Literature in general, even recommending good reads to one another; they liked similar foods, in which they quickly agreed to head down to the food places together for meals when they had the time… It all just came so naturally. They just met, sure, but it did feel as if they had been friends all their lives. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Many would say they moved way too fast, but there were just so many things they liked about each other already. Doyoung appreciated that Jaehyun was a good listener and someone who had a childlike innocence to him, while Jaehyun was absolutely enamoured by Doyoung’s smile and intellect. They could have spoken for way longer if they wished, but it was soon time to head back as the cafe had to close to prepare for the early morning breakfast service, and both of them also had 10am lectures to prepare for. Nevertheless, they never forgot to exchange numbers before they retreated back to their respective dorms and surprisingly, both of them came home to their roommates peacefully asleep, to their relief. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They spent so much more time together after that, and soon came to realise that it was no longer just the common circumstances at the college party that brought them together. Now, it was each other, and frankly, they could not have been more thankful to their friends, namely Taeyong and Johnny, for subconsciously bringing them together. They went to all the cafes they had planned to go to together, studied together, spent countless nights at each other’s places after they moved out in their last 2 years in University cramming content for finals or working on their thesis statements, and even went travelling together to places far and wide, such as the United States, where Jaehyun spent 4 of his formative years. The anecdotes Jaehyun shared during the trip made Doyoung coo as he imagined a younger and chubbier Jaehyun running around the neighbourhood. Likewise, Doyoung had also brought Jaehyun to his hometown, Guri, and Jaehyun’s reaction was the same as Doyoung, or maybe even more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After they graduated, they decided to move in together, with the help of their family members who were fully supportive of their relationship, and found jobs of their own after their well-deserved 6-month break. It was no surprise they were quickly employed, given their stellar portfolio, and Jaehyun was asked to be a consultant for a petrochemical firm, while Doyoung was asked to become a Literature lecturer back at their alma mater. Working life was new and a little daunting, simply because the time they spent with each other was cut down by more than half, but they still made it work as both of them had put in effort to keep that spark ignited, and it came as no surprise when they too decided to get married. Once again, most people felt that it was too fast, but the couple was more than sure that they were ready for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ceremony was nothing short of beautiful, even though it was minimal. The both of them only invited those that mattered to them such as their immediate family members, a few of their close relatives (also known as those who supported, because not everything was a bed of roses in their love story) and friends. In total, there were less than 200 people in attendance, but in their hearts, they knew that this 200 they had specially invited were worth more than a thousand. The both of them cried tears of joy at the altar and as soon as they exchanged their vows and rings, they were more than ready to start a new chapter of their lives as husbands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung had wanted children for the longest time, and so did Jaehyun, who had just recently got one of the biggest promotions he could ever wish for, and that was to be a board member of the entire firm. Doyoung was so proud, but there soon came the question on how they were going to handle having children given their increasingly busy schedules, and after a long and heartfelt talk with tears and apologies, Doyoung took the sacrifice by leaving his job to become a freelance author instead. Jaehyun felt terrible, thinking that it was his fault that his husband had to give up his dream just like that, but Doyoung reassured him, saying that he will manage and besides, he was still doing what he loved, just in a different context. They opted to have their children through a surrogate shortly after and as soon as the gender of the twins were revealed, they were named Jeno and Jaemin respectively. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung remembered the day when he and Jaehyun held the babies in their arms and though they had decided not to find out which baby was the result of who’s genes, it was clear that both babies had a fair share of each gene pool. Both babies had fair skin, simply because both their parents did, but it was clear that Jeno was bulkier and more stout, a trait from Jaehyun who was known for his strong physique, and Jaemin was a little lankier, a trait from Doyoung. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever the case, they were now one happy family, and that was all that mattered</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had barely been a few months since the babies were born and they were honestly such bundles of joy to have. Sure, it meant waking up at odd hours to soothe the crying twins, that was one, but no matter how tired the both of them were, Jeno and Jaemin never failed to put a big and proud smile on both parents’ faces, whatever the circumstances. The two of them had such big dreams for Jeno and Jaemin’s futures, ready to send them for a number of enrichment classes that the two of them grew up with and travel to allow the fraternal twins the opportunity to see the world (and for the parents to take a break too). </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then again, good things do not last forever, Doyoung knew that, but he did not expect the saying to come true so quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung remembered every single detail, as if it happened yesterday, when in reality, it happened just about 10 years ago. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was awoken at 7am in the morning by the shrill ring of an incoming phone call and as much as he dreaded stretching his limbs just to unplug his phone and picking it up, he did so anyway as the ringing slowly got on his nerves. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?” Doyoung croaked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning babe.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I swear to god Jae, it’s not a good morning when you’re calling me at 7am, and the ring’s so loud it could have awoken the twins. You know how they are when they have not gotten enough sleep and you know how I am too.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So I have 3 babies now? That’s new.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes you do… Where are you anyway?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m on the bus. Don’t you remember? I’ve got a meeting with a client at 8am. God forbid any more meetings at such ungodly hours from now on, then again, it’s really important anyway. It could put us on the map where the industry’s concerned.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung chuckled at his husband’s answer and yet, this was one of the reasons why Doyoung fell in love with him in the first place. Jaehyun was always hardworking and ambitious, albeit less than Doyoung during their schooling days, and as much as life might not have been as smooth sailing as expected of such a high flyer, Jaehyun never gave up, because he always knew that whatever happens, it will be worth it. And Doyoung so happened to find that trait extremely attractive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s great babe, I’m so happy for you but wait… why don’t you take the train then? It’s so much faster and you would have more than enough time for breakfast when you reach the office. If you’re on the bus now, isn’t it going to take longer?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” Jaehyun hesitated for a bit, but continued, “The train does not have any signal and I just wanted to hear your voice this morning. I’m nervous Doie, because this is such a big deal, so I took the bus instead, just so I could call you. I don’t know, you’ve always had a calming effect on me, even until now.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And that was when all of Doyoung’s morning crankiness melted away. He was touched and felt a warmth spread through his body as he heard his husband’s words, but he contained himself and responded, “Don’t worry babe. You’ll do well, I’m sure of it. You’ve been preparing for this meeting for ages and now, it’s your time to shine. Go do your thing and I’ll spare us the trouble by cooking something special tonight. What time will you be back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“7pm, as I always do, and don’t worry, I’ll take the train back this time around.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung laughed at that statement and after exchanging a series of “I Love You”s, Doyoung fell asleep once again while Jaehyun continued on his way to work. When he woke up 2 hours later, he awoke to a series of notifications from the news websites that he had subscribed to, and to his shock and horror, this was all the headlines summarised into one sentence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bus 1174, the bus that Jaehyun would have to take to work, had been hit and split in two by a speeding cargo lorry, causing the bus to burst into flames in a matter of seconds. The driver of the lorry survived with mere abrasions, while all the passengers who took the bus did not, including the driver.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung did not want to believe a word of it. Perhaps Jaehyun took the bus preceding that or the one after that, but curse Doyoung’s great memory because he knew just how much time Jaehyun needed to be on the bus to reach the accident site. He knew because he  had taken the same bus to Jaehyun’s workplace before when the other was a fresh employee, unsure of the fact that there was actually a train station. And besides, it was also a significant day as they decided to have breakfast together too on their respective first days of work, and Doyoung remembered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was just no way he could forget.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It would take 23 minutes for Jaehyun to reach the site of the accident. It was exactly 7.30am when it happened, Jaehyun left the house at 7am and Bus 1174 was never late. It always came at 7.07am — Jaehyun would not have missed it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was on the bus, he was on that bus, there was no other way around it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He attempted to call, with shaking hands, but the call was disconnected, signalling that the phone had probably been destroyed by the fire, and that was when Doyoung’s world crashed down on him. His knees crumpled to the ground, hard, and his breathing was laboured as it gradually became harder to see with the tears welling up in his eyes. The babies were still asleep, unaware of the disaster that just fell upon them, and as soon as Doyoung felt like he was going to pass out, Taeyong called.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Doyoung, there’s this new —”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“T-Tae…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doyoung? Are you alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Help…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And that was the final word he had managed to utter before he collapsed, dropping his phone in the process. The last thing he heard was Taeyong screaming on the phone, though his voice did sound as if Doyoung’s head was underwater, and as much as he wanted to say more, he could not. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only God knows how much time had passed and Doyoung woke up surrounded by bright white walls and the strong smell of disinfectant. He was hooked up to an intravenous drip and as his vision started to settle, he found Johnny, with Jeno and Jaemin in his arms dozing off, and Taeyong rushing to his side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doyoung, oh my god, are you okay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Was he? No. No, he was not. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung felt the tears fall, one landing on his hospital gown, the other landing on his hand, and he soon broke out into choked sobs. He did not even bother to bury his face in his hands because he was just that heartbroken and Taeyong, who was also on the verge of tears, kept himself collected and embraced the former in a tight hug. Doyoung responded immediately to the touch, almost on the verge of possibly crushing the fragile older, simply because he was afraid that Taeyong would disappear too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jaehyun,” Doyoung managed to utter out after spending most of his energy sobbing, and though it pained him to do so, he needed to say the words he himself hated to hear for his own sanity, “He’s gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>****</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no funeral for Jaehyun and neither was there a grave, simply because his body had been completely burnt by the fire. He was rendered unrecognisable, or at least according to those who worked at the morgue and somehow managed to retrieve his body after the fire died down. And so all Doyoung did was to set up a little corner for Jaehyun in the house, consisting of his framed picture from graduation, his favourite scented candles and flowers that Doyoung made a point to change every month. He was also thankful for the help that Johnny and Taeyong provided for the babies while Doyoung took a hiatus for himself to heal. Of course, Doyoung primarily raised them, but there were times when he just broke down after taking a look at his babies and the thought of them never knowing their father was truly a stab to the heart, and he was glad his friends were always a beck and call away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In fact, they had gone the extra mile to purchase the apartment next door to Doyoung so that whenever he needed them, they will always be there. When Doyoung was simply too sad to function, they would come over to cook for the family, entertain the active crawling babies with games of peek-a-boos and read them stories before bed. Doyoung felt terrible that he was imposing on his friends and it should be his responsibility to ensure the kids were raised well, but he could not find it in himself to do so. Johnny and Taeyong reassured him time and time again, emphasising that everything was going to be alright, and they would be there to help him as long as he needed them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Johnny was Jaehyun’s best friend, and so was Taeyong for Doyoung, and both of them were there at every single step of their relationship, watching it blossom. They knew how this loss would affect Doyoung and together with the knowledge on how Doyoung could be in such situations, they made it a point to always be there for the younger. He had kids too, so all the more he would need as much help as he could possibly get.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time passed by in the blink of an eye and as the kids grew older, it was safe to say things did get a little easier. They behaved like big boys now and always seemed ready to help their father with everything, whether it was making food, cleaning their rooms, or picking their clothes for school, even at the age of 4. They never fought, which was a huge plus point for Doyoung, and it now became clear on who’s personality they had inherited. Jaehyun was more confident, so was Jaemin, while Doyoung was the slightly more shy and soft spoken type, and so was Jeno. Frankly, he was glad that they were now boys he could actually speak to and keep them company, just like a father should, which helped him to keep his mind off Jaehyun’s passing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then came a time when the boys started to ask what happened to their other parent, seeing as to how most of their friends always had both parents picking then up after school, and before Doyoung choked up, he only answered, “He’s in a better place now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will we ever see him?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come Jaemin, put away your toys and Jeno, turn off the TV. Let’s have dinner.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The conversations always ended that way and after a while, the boys stopped questioning, probably inherently accepting that they only had Doyoung as their father. Somehow, without Doyoung telling them to, they somehow understood the situation they were in. They never asked for expensive toys, never threw tantrums when they never got what they wanted, and just seemed to enjoy the simple things in life. Even if it was just Doyoung suggesting they go to Hangang for some ice cream after they were done with school, they would look like the happiest boys in the world, and oh how Doyoung hoped that Jaehyun could witness all these in the flesh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soon, the little achievements such as learning how to swim and cycle became academic achievements when they entered school, for real this time, and just like how their parents were, they were good at studying, coming home with straight As all the time. The both of them had made tons of friends too, which Doyoung was so grateful for, and also grew up to be well-mannered, kind and selfless — just like how Jaehyun had hoped his kids would be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jae, I’ve been thinking…” Doyoung spoke into the darkness as he wrapped his limbs around Jaehyun’s broad form, praying that the latter had not fallen asleep yet.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hmm?” Jaehyun responded, though sleepily. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are we really prepared to take care of kids? And twins for that matter?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Jaehyun chuckled at first, turning his body to face Doyoung a little easier, “Don’t you think it’s a little late? Our surrogate is already 5 months pregnant, meaning we have exactly 120 days or so before she’s due.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s not what I meant. We’re still young and relatively inexperienced. Think about it, the only experience we have is entertaining children at our family gatherings, what do we know?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s all part of the learning process, isn’t it? No two children are the same and we just need to go with what’s right and best for them. Of course, I’d like them to grow up well-mannered, kind and selfless, and in an environment they could truly flourish, but not all family stories are a bed of roses. They’ll go through puberty and that painful period of rebelliousness and adolescence. Nevertheless, I believe we can get through it.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They stared into the darkness for a little bit in comfortable silence and it was just funny how relaxed Jaehyun was, while Doyoung’s mind ran a million miles a second worrying about the future. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you happy?” Jaehyun asked, voice heavy with sleep and he very well knew that he was going to knock out in seconds.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course I am.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then we’ll have nothing to worry about.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Doyoung recalled all this in the present day, he could not help but smile as tears began to well up in his eyes again. Even though Jaehyun was no longer physically present, he could definitely feel the emotional support his loved one showered on him from wherever he was. They had come so far as a family, and Doyoung was sure that Jaehyun would be proud. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was simply enjoying the peace and tranquility of his room now, as the memories helped to calm him down after his tragic nightmare, and had totally failed to notice the entrance of his twins into his room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Appa?” a tired voice spoke, and Doyoung turned around, cooing how Jeno and Jaemin stood there at his door with disheveled hair and tiredness evident in their faces. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Doyoung responded, rubbing his cheeks quickly to get rid of any stray tears before facing his children, “What are you boys doing here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t sleep. I think the heater’s broken and it’s too cold.” Jaemin spoke as Jeno yawned away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aigoo… Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The twins just shrugged their shoulders at the question, but quickly made their way to Doyoung’s other half of the bed, snuggling under the covers while hugging the huge teddy bears that Johnny had bought for them one Christmas. Jeno crawled in first, immediately taking the spot closer to Doyoung, and as much as Jaemin wanted to as well, he gave in, but not without saying this in a hushed tone, “Next time, I’m sleeping with Appa.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung let out a soft laugh as Jeno only flashed his iconic eye smile at Jaemin, albeit cheekily, and the latter only reciprocated, simply because he could never be angry at his brother for long. Now, it was time for Doyoung to be tucked in as well. Thank goodness for the holidays because it was currently 4am and Doyoung had no intention to wake up at 7.30am just to send the boys to school. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as he sat on the bed and was ready to turn off the lights, Jeno immediately wrapped his limbs around Doyoung’s leg and torso, and looked up at the latter saying, “Appa, were you crying?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>This kid is too much of a genius. Curse you Jaehyun, he has inherited your ability of reading faces and emotions just like that.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go to sleep Jeno, it’s late.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sad?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes? No? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jeno...” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve got us Appa,” Jeno replied with his eyes closed, tone full of optimism, as he snuggled closer into Doyoung’s body,  “We’ll make you happy.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You boys already are.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And just before sleep took over Doyoung’s entire being, he looked over at the photo that he had framed by the bed. It was an adorable picture of him and Jaehyun on their holiday to Jeju Island, together with 2 happy babies with wide and relatively toothless smiles, strapped to each parent with a baby carrier. It was such a beautiful day — the skies were cerulean blue, the winds were strong, yet refreshing, and most importantly, the family was together and happy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Jaehyun-ah, wherever you may be in what people call a better place, I hope you are happy. As much as it is a pity that you had to leave us so early, I think I’m beginning to understand why that's the case. You were truly my guardian angel, through thick and thin, and you gave me the best years of my life when we were together. Sadly, like they always say, angels are always meant to fly, and perhaps that is why you’re now among the diamonds in the sky. Thank you for everything and just remember that we’ll always love you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope to see you in my dreams from now on. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Good night.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For those who have made it up to this point, thank you so much for reading and for your unwavering support! I’ll be taking a break from Jaedo for the time being (or at least until my brain comes up with another storyline) and will be focusing on Nomin as I’ve joined a Nomin fic fest on Twitter! :-) If you guys have anything you would like to tell me, my socials are always open! ^^ Once again, thank you and see you in my next work! </p>
<p>
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</p></blockquote></div></div>
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